like you don’t even know how much. I wanted you to come tonight, I had my heart completely prepared to see you. And that’s stupid ‘cause I should be totally pissed at you, and I am, but not talking to you hurts me more than anything else you’ve done. How stupid is that? I just wanted to see you, even if you didn’t see me, I wanted to see you smile and laugh with your friends like you should be, but in a way I wanted to see you totally miserable. God, this is SO stupid. My feelings are so jumbled up about you, I don’t know what to think anymore. Do you even know that you did anything wrong? You treated me like complete and utter shit, then you don’t even try to apologize OR tell me Happy Birthday. You had the nerve to look me right in the eyes and say what you said just to look all big shit in front of your little friend. The look on your face, like you honestly didn’t care, tore me apart. Maybe you’re right, maybe I had the wrong idea about you, maybe I was just in love with a thought of you that I made up, maybe I was just in love with the idea of being in love. Maybe I’m just fucking stupid. I just wish I had never seen you that day. I wish it never happened. I wish we were on the phone right now like we usually are. I wish everything could be back to the way it was. But it’s not gonna be. I’m trying really hard to let this go, but every time I think about it, I get so mad and hurt all over again. 
 Or maybe I’m just being stupid.